bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
