fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
