No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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