it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize