He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
