If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
