I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
