Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Randomize