um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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