I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have feelings that need drinking.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
