would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
