seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
