i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
