She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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