Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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