ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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