I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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