pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
