youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I am puke
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
