Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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