Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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