Will you blow on my dice?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
