So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
