He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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