I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
