omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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