Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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