Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Don't make out with my wife yet
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
