im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
