I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
