i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
