told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
