Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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