i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
