I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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