They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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