remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
