Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
