He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
