This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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