Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
