I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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