So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
