I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
