your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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