operation harelip BJ is a go
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize