he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
