Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
