The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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