Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Sober January is a disaster.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
