North Korea, Best Korea!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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