I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
