New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
