Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
