so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize