your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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