This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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