omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
