There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
