I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
