All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize