i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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