Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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