I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
