Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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