he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
