What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We have started to decorate penises.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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