How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
