Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
