He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
