Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize